A Prayer (8)

          Alright God, it is like this, there is a prayer I want and need to pray but I’m afraid to speak it aloud much less pray about it. I know that as soon as these words part my lips you will start the gears to bring this prayer to fruition because it’s in alignment with your will for my life. I’m not ready for what I am requesting to be granted because there are things I don’t want to let go of yet but I know that I should. If I wait until I am ready, I will never release this prayer because I will never be ready. It is akin to someone waiting to “get right” before turning to you who can make them right. If I don’t pray this prayer, I will block you from moving me in a favorable direction and deny myself the blessings available to me if I but ask and move out of your way, so here goes nothing.

          God you are omniscient, ergo you can see the future whereas I can’t. You have revealed to me what I need to excise from my life but I am having a hard time because though my spirit is willing, my flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). My will power is insufficient and inadequate in the face of your omnipotence. In order to remove the undesirables from my life, I need you to make me busy. Make me so busy that I do not have time to indulge in the things that bind me to this world. Of course, I don’t want to just be any kind of “busy”. This is something specific. I want to be busy doing your will. Of course, I don’t just want to be busy doing your will but I want to be busy doing your will in a way that is unique to me. I offer up to you the talents you have gifted me. Use them for the edification of your kingdom through me. These hands, this mouth, this brain, my body is only on loan to me. It belongs to you. What I want is to bear good fruit and affect people in such a way that they say, “That girl knows God and I want to know Him too”.

          I am sick of myself. Change doesn’t always come easy for me but this place I’m in is no bueno and I have got to move. We both know that I cannot do it alone regardless of my sincerest intentions, so Lord do it for me right now. God I know that you are preparing me for something that I cannot handle right now. You’re making me ready just because you care. You are preparing me to handle the next matter in my life. You’re arranging me, rearranging me, training me, tuning me, purging me, pruning me; you have big plans for me. I KNOW it.

          God put me to work while you are working on me so things will work out for me. Now that this prayer has been released, I am waiting with excited anticipation of what you are going to do with my life. I claim it and thank you in advance Lord. Amen.


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