This post is about drinking. There I said it! (phew!). I have been thinking about sharing this for a while but I was scared. Well, it was not so much the drinking itself but because of the nature of my blog, I was afraid I may be seen as a hypocrite. However, I think I can help more people by talking about it regardless of how I am perceived because guess what, I am a hypocrite. There are many things I do that I know God does not like yet I blog about what I should and should not do to make God happy. Of course, I do not want to be this way and I am changing everyday so, I can only write about what I believe is right in spite of my own shortcomings. The Bible says, “all we like sheep have gone astray” (see Isaiah 53:6) and “all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” (see Romans 3:23) so I know that I am not alone and that others have made the same mistake or feel just as conflicted as I do sometimes.
So, let us get down to it. I did not drink much of anything before I turned twenty-one (legal age in U.S.). When I was six I had a sip of beer (gross, I never touched it again), there were a couple of cookouts where I drank out of someone’s cup thinking it was something else (on a never-ending quest for Kool-aid) and rare sips as I got older. I am not sure why but the idea of social drinking or getting drunk did not appeal to me (and that was before I was baptized). I guess those Lifetime movies I had the displeasure of watching did some good after all (thanks mom). I was never a “wild child” either so even when I started college it was not an issue. As a matter of fact, I had a friend ask me if I drank. I said “no” and when he asked “why not”, I said it was because I “liked to keep my mind clear”. I mean, there are so many horror stories about roofies being slipped into someone’s drink or someone getting drunk and doing something that they cannot remember the next day.
I was so proud of myself for not drinking (amongst other things considered “normal” for college aged folks) and never thought I would. I was the introverted geek, definitely not the party type but perhaps my pride was the problem and God allowed me to fall so I would realize that I was not invulnerable to such a vice.
To put it lightly, I made a conscious decision to drink in order to drown my sorrows (that never works…not for long anyway) but I could not even do that right. Anyway, I found out that I was more social than I thought and drank whenever someone handed me an empty, red solo cup with my name on it (or “my cup”). I only drank socially so I was not crawling out of bed with a bottle in my hand or anything like that but a bad habit is a bad habit.
It has taken me about three years but after I recovered some of the sense god gave me and began to repair my damaged relationship with him, I realized that what I was trying to do by drinking was not working. Quite frankly, I found drinking pointless so I quit back in April (not so long ago right?). Just like that, cold turkey. At least, I intended to as a birthday gift to myself but I thought “why wait?” and stopped a couple of weeks earlier than planned. Unfortunately, I relapsed over Memorial Day weekend but I am glad to say that with God’s help and a lot of prayer I have quit for good and I am confident that it will no longer be an issue.
I am sure it has not been as difficult for me as it would for someone who is an alcoholic since I never developed a taste or dependence for alcohol but for me “My help cometh from the Lord” (Psalm 121:2) has never rang so true. I was poisoning my body and killing my precious brain cells (they do not regenerate you know). I feel so blessed that my love for God stopped me before I reached a point where I hurt my friends or family. I did tell my mom though I am not so sure I had to (she has some high-caliber intuition sometimes) and it was hard but she was glad I told her and so was I. Most importantly, with God’s help, I have been relieved of a heavy burden and hopefully talking about it will help someone else.