Hello world! I know, I know, long time no blog lol. This post is a prayer that I felt others might relate to. Hopefully it can comfort someone who feels the same.
God, we need to talk, or rather I need to talk to you. I think there is something fundamentally wrong with me that causes me to do things contrary to your will…I guess that’s original sin and all. In any case, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for sometimes blaming you when something doesn’t go my way, which happens often, especially when it’s the result of my own actions. I’m sorry that I just can’t seem to get myself together even though I know what is right and how I should be living.
I don’t think there’s anyone who wouldn’t say I’m a good person but that’s only because they don’t have to see the ugly parts of me that you do. Even after all this time, I still find it hard to believe that I matter to you and that you’ve bestowed upon me your mercy and unconditional love in spite of my shortcomings.
Thank you for not giving up on me Lord. When all else fails, you are always there with an outstretched hand helping me get back on track. I may be a jerk sometimes (a lot of times) but I realize that my life would not be the same without you and that I have been richly blessed (even though I seem to forget now and then).
Lord, there are a lot of things that will never appeal to me even as a sinner (for example, crystal meth) but I often surprise myself as to how weak I am to the ways of the world. Please continue to hold my hand and walk me through life (even though I don’t deserve it). Make me stronger; open my eyes so I can focus on the bigger picture. Take away all the fears, anxieties and doubts that both hinder me and separate me from you. Help me become a person that we can both be proud of and that can attract others to you by being a living example of what a difference you can make in someone’s life.
In your holy name I pray, Amen.